Anger vs. Betrayal

I keep going back and forth between being angry at Dr. C's nurse and feeling betrayed by Dr. C. I don't know if I'm in this hellish pain b/c the nurse just made a decision about a case she knows nothing about or if Dr. C decided she's had enough and decided not to discuss it with me. I find the latter harder to believe and harder to reconcile myself to. She's *never* forced me to lower a dosage that I've told her I couldn't do. She's always trusted me....up to now maybe? I just don't know what to think right now. We've *always* talked about things. I wish her nurse had just let me talk to her. I wish Dr. C hadn't gone out of town.