It *appears* you can't get PG...but for $3,000 we can give it a better shot.....

Well, we were sucker punched yesterday by our RE. The news recieved makes us wonder how we ever were able to get PG 2 years ago? Which leads us to how come God has chosen to not let us get PG again? The fact remains that the Lupron didn't provide as long term relief. I'm already popping pain pills before the 6 month treatment is over. The fact remains that I STILL WANT TO EXPERIENCE A NINE MONTH PREGNANCY FOLLOWED BY LABOR AND DELIEVERY!!!! Why is that so much to ask for?? Why does God continue to say no? Waiting sucks. I hate it. Why do I frickin' have to wait for almost eternity for *any* of my dreams to come true??? Why? Unfortunately, while I did respond to 100mg of Clomid, I didn't respond well enough to consider it a good Tx plan. Not to mention the major INCREASE of pain while on it. Our RE wants us to move on to FSH Injections but that will cost $3,000 a cycle. Of course, my tight wad of a husband doesn't want to fork over that kind of money b/c he doesn't think the odds are any better than Clomid. *sigh* So here we are. Both at odds with each other. Angry with each other b/c we feel the other is holding the other back. Goal: To be pain free and have a baby to call our own Hmmm....you'd think that wouldn't be to much to ask. WOULD IT?????? Apparently it is in my case, so that brings us to questions that must be pondered. 1. By what means do I want to obtain this goal? 2. What am I am I willing to sacrifice to obtain this goal? 3. Why is experiencing pregnancy and birth important? 4. Why is having a child by a certain age important? 5. If we move on to adoption and what can be done for pain relief? 6. If we move on to adoption and the pain can be controlled for a length of time, would IF Tx be back on the table when TTC#2? I asked K that if moving on to adoption was so important, then why hasn't he finished his part of the application to the agency he feels we need to consider strongly. I just don't flippin' understand all this. It's wrong, but I feel like God is letting me down. I feel guilty for feeling that way. I know God's Will is best, but why does His will have to *no* include my dream of carrying to term a baby and experiencing prenancy and birth? Why? I just don't understand. I'M NOT READY TO GIVE UP MY DREAM!!!!!!