One of the hardest days of the year....

I really don't know if I think Mother's Day is all that great of a day anymore? I have a mother and mother-in-law who are clueless. A brother-ing-law and sister-in-law who are clueless. And a church family that is wonderful except for one day a year--today. I have to give the Mother's Day presentation AGAIN!! This is to be done cheerfully. Easier said than done. I really want to scream and cry and make everyone realize that today sucks for me!! K bought me a beautiful Mother's Day card, but I wonder today if it's because he wanted to give it or because he felt he *had* to give it? I just don't understand why this couldn't have been my second mother's day? Why did my baby have to go back to heaven? Why can't ppl just understand it's hard b/c of what I lost, not b/c of what I don't have?