Peace has arrived....

Well, Dr. C and S talked. S and I talked. Dr. C and I talked (first time ever on the phone, I'm impressed). We are all on the same page. We've made a decision that was hard to make, but seems to be the one that is best for my situation as it stands right now. I pitched a fit and sobbed for three days, but I finally have peace about the direction we are heading. We are TAB for 6 months. I'll have a laparoscopy on Tuesday and begin Depot Lupron. Dr. C said some women have relief w/n 1 - 2 weeks of starting Lupron and others 2 - 3 MONTHS!! She said there's no determining factor to predict who will get relief when. She said that while she'd prefer to just begin the Lupron therapy, she'd still perform a Lap if I felt I couldn't wait. I told her my pain is horrid and there's no way I could wait 2 - 3 cycles if that was the card I got dealt. We had to schedule the Lap quickly b/c it's best to have it done while I'm still with AF as it makes the Endo easier to find. I had hoped AF would cooperate and still be around until Tuesday, but it looks like she may not. ARGH!! Only time will tell. We cannot get PG during the 6 months of Depot Lupron. To do so would risk birth defects in the baby. Since that is preventable by not getting PG, I'm not taking any chances. However, miracles can happen in many ways--adoption is still a miracle. I asked Keith is there was any reason our first child had to biological. He said none that he could think of. I wonder..... I'm still filled with hope that a BFP still awaits me this year. Lupron ends at the end of July. I'm hoping my cycles return by September and we are back to the RE by October and have two cycles for this year. There's still HOPE!! The emotional and mental break from TTC will be nice. We've been at it for 24 cycles. Here's my list of what I plan to do with my 6 month of TAB: 1. Lose 25 lbs 2. Get into a good exercise routine that can be continued during a PG 3. Get caught up on my scrapbooking 4. Finish my sewing projects 5. Take an online Journaling class 6. Fish a lot with my husband and FIL this summer 7. Take a road trip with my mother 8. Visit some more online buddies 9. Help get a support group started in my town for Endometriosis 10. Get my house more organized--one room at a time A friend sent me a surprise in the mail with a card about hope. This is the quote inside the card: Hope fills us with confidence assurance, and expectation-- confidence because God will not forsake us, assurance because God will not forget us, expectation because God will not fail us. Roy Lessin It's been a long journey and it's not over. I don't know where it's going to end, but I do know that God is still on throne, He still has a plan and He will not forsake His plan for me and my family. One day I will hold a child in my arms. My greatest desire if for one of those children to be fruit of my womb, but I do know that God's plan is far greater than any dream I could have. I'm trusting in Him and have peace that His is still working.